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Scotland signs historic accord with Malawi

Sir Andrew Cubie appeals for help from Malawi

Sir Andrew Cubie appeals for help from Malawi

John Swinney today signed an historic bi-lateral agreement with Malawi today to promote education and care for children disadvantaged by family circumstances, mental health or learning difficulties.

“One of the greatest barriers we face is corruption in the education system and the failure of regulatory regimes to recognise and address failures associated with cronyism, a lack of accountability and professional incompetence”, said the Malawian Minister for Education.

“We will do everything we can to help emerging nations like Scotland to reach internationally accepted standards and will provide whatever help we can”.

Sir Andrew Cubie, a leading figure in Scottish education stated, “For fuck’s sake, I have just overseen the unnecessary and traumatic closure of a special school and by my decision-making caused huge trauma to vulnerable children and their families in addition to enormous financial disadvantage to dedicated professionals who have done no harm to others. We need all the help we can get from educationally advanced countries like Malawi”.

The agreement has been met with caution by a number of pressure groups who argue that more should have been done to promote human rights.

Stacey Gladstone of the Malawian Front for the Emancipation of Decent Human Beings stated that Malawi had failed to address significant human rights abuses when it met with Mr Swinney, and in particular the failure of the Scottish Government to respect the rights of children or the judicial system in upholding the rights of educational professionals. “We are deeply concerned by the apparent prevalence of false accusations, lies, cover-ups by state institutions and a general sense that the truth will be suppressed to save political figures from due scrutiny”.

Mr Swinney declined to comment on the accusations of corruption within the Scottish system but issued a statement suggesting that he would consider a reform of the current regulatory regime, as long as, “it lets me off the hook for any cock-ups or conspiracies that I may have instigated myself”.

Bill Colley